Therapy as Alchemy

"It came to me in a dream." A regular statement in my life. "This just feels right." Shows up even more often. I get so much guidance lately. A while ago, I committed to listening. Lean into life. Relax into the Self. Obey the Truth. A form of surrender. It's so bumpy for the mind. Sometimes I feel it scream, objecting so strongly, with all the old reasons. Sometimes I feel parts of me want to cry while witnessing the things I decide to follow. They squeeze my eyes and press my chest. Yet the body doesn't obey so easily anymore. He is also learning to trust. Shedding old identities while nurturing my inner parts feels like a dance. The best performance I ever gave.

It's still hard for me to stay in the in between. Where I feel that nothing happens. Yet nothing stands still at all. If I tune in I sense the shifting and movement that never stops. The guidance, the pull, the knowing. Yet parts of me want to see the cake on the platter. And eat it too. No baking needed. No time to spare. No energy to waste. What if we run out? Of everything. The mindset of scarcity creeps in so easily in the in between. That old voice that's so familiar yet just doesn't feel right. We have one that's older. The clear, strong one. Now I have this dance of tunning in again and again. And the pull is getting stronger and stronger.